A well-deserved break for Mr Brown

We’re all going on a summer holiday
Most of you will be struggling to get the zip around your suitcase about now, scurrying excitedly around the house throwing in last-minute items and with the prospect of sandy beaches, exotic cuisine, bronzed bodies and two weeks away from the boss bouncing around your head. And, as you lug your 20kgs into the boot of your Mondeo, then I deplore you to spare a though for poor old Gordon Brown.
After trundling along with little incident for more than a decade, the wheels have finally flown off the New Labour movement quiet spectacularly. It all started about this time last year with a series of plagues of Biblical proportions. Firstly, unprecedented rainfall led to Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire and parts of Yorkshire disappearing under water and shortly after foot and mouth disease ripped across the south of England causing a wave of panic in the farming industry and redoubling the French’s intention never to buy British meat.
Cutting short his family holiday in Dorset, Brown charged back to London to chair a series of reactive meetings, popping up hourly on national news bulletins and resembling Corporal Jones from Dad’s Army, by imploring people ‘Don’t panic!’ However, those of us who suspected that a procession of black cats must have passed in front of Brown as he passed under a ladder were given more evidence of his misfortune in the autumn.
He failed to dismiss the possibility of calling a general election in October, before wobbling approval ratings in national opinion polls seemingly got the better of him. He decided, wrongly, to leave the matter to rest for a little while. ‘Bottler Brown,’ bellowed the press, miserable at being denied the jump in sales that is usually excited by an election. The reaction of David Cameron, Conservative leader and Oxford University port-drinking specialist, if anything was worse, as he taunted the Prime Minister over the despatch box:
‘I tell you what, if you’ve got some questions about our policy, find a bit of courage, discover a bit of bottle, get in your car, go down to Buckingham Palace and call that election,’ he demanded at Prime Minister’s Questions, whilst Gordon Brown glared at him, seemingly caught in a fit of combustible anger and chewing on some recently invented gum.
It didn’t get any better. The following month, 25 million people’s personal information was lost in the post when a minor employee thought it wise to copy the data of child benefits claimants to a CD and pop it in the internal post. Meanwhile the global economy began to resemble something like a Welsh mudslide.
Add to this the April tax revolt by Labour back-bench MPs, who were dismayed at Labour inverting the Robin Hood principles and taxing the poor to give to the rich and the fact that a 42 day detention bill scraped through the House of Commons last month, and you can surmise that the past year has been an increasingly difficult one for Brown.
In the meantime, they have lost the seats of Crewe and Nantwich to the Conservatives (with Edward Timpson the new MP increasing his share of the vote by 16.9%) and Glasgow East which had been a Labour-controlled constituency since Noah’s Arch ran aground.
Now Mr Brown is taking his wife on a British ‘Bucket and Spade,’ holiday. Due to the emergence of last year’s floods, it will be the first substantial holiday that Mr Brown has enjoyed since he became Prime Minister. So, as he heads off to Southwold in Suffolk and later on to the Scottish coast, remember that however tiresome your tasks at work may be, Mr Brown can trump you in one.
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