With half of England scandalised by the actions of two of its favourite comedians, Marie Kemplay asks whether it is all justified

I must admit I do actually quite like Jonathan Ross. His Friday night questioning of people from all corners of celebrity is one of my favourite programmes and as a result of his suspension my Friday evenings will be far less entertaining. Granted tonight I’ll be too busy stumbling around in whatever costume I can find in Tesco later.

But I find myself thinking is Jonathan Ross really the reason why I tune in on a Friday or is for the celebrities themselves. And is Russell Brand really that funny or is it his scriptwriters? I went to watch his chat show being filmed last year and it was one of the most disillusioning experiences. He read the entire thing off an autocue and then threw in a bit of gesticulation and outlandish phraseology for good measure. They both have over-inflated egos that would benefit from being knocked down a couple of pegs.

I’m not baying for blood in the same way a lot of the right wing press appear to be but I do agree the line has to be drawn somewhere. The content of the message left on Andrew Sachs mobile was pretty disgusting, with Ross shouting “he f***** you granddaughter” and Brand retaliating “it’s ok I used a condom”.

The whole thing just reeks of stupidity; this was a BBC Radio 2 programme not a late night TV special, and they were leaving messages on a 78 year old man’s answer phone, someone you would perhaps expect to speak to more respectfully. As for Georgina Baillie, regardless of whether she is a “Satanic Slut” I’m sure she doesn’t want her sex life broadcast to the nation. You really would have expected Brand, Ross and whoever authorised the broadcast to know better.

But that was all it was, stupidity, certainly not enough to warrant Lesley Davies, Controller of Radio 2, a highly competent woman and who by all accounts did nothing wrong in this so called ‘scandal’, losing her job. Brand was right to resign, his radio show would never have been received in the same way and it was right that Ross was suspended, the BBC needed breathing space - but as even Andrew Sachs admitted performers make mistakes.

The BBC is a fantastic institution, highly regarded worldwide and something of which we should be immensely proud, of course it has its problems but that doesn’t mean we should allow it to be trounced out of all recognition by the right wing media. We want a broadcaster that’s willing to take risks, not one held back by the worst aspects conservative (with a small c) society.

Tags: BBC, Digital TV by Marie Kemplay
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Buyology - The psychology behind why we buy

So what does the Roman Catholic Church have in common with Nintendo, the video games manufacturer? Not much you might assume. Both are quite old: in the case of the Roman Catholic Church a couple of millennia, whilst next year Nintendo will, rather surprisingly, celebrate its 120^th birthday. But, aside from this, you’d probably be stumped for an answer – and for inspiration you’d have to turn to the latest book from the Danish author Martin Lindstrom.

Lindstrom is generally regarded as one of the world’s top marketing gurus, spending the majority of his time skipping around the globe preaching on the fundamentals of his marketing theory – Buyology. More than a mere pun, the word Buyology, refers to an astute psychological analysis of human behaviour, asking the question: ‘just what psychological factors impel us towards brand allegiance?’

Why is it that we react positively to slogans, jingles and celebrity endorsements? Just think of Levi’s Flat Eric. How was it that a stuffed toy with attitude, riding the highways of California, could have a far more pronounced effect on the human mind than all the graphic warnings on the front of cigarette cartons can? Why are we tied so closely to our favourite brands? What is the psychology behind all of the symbols and logos? Why have Singapore Airways gone to the trouble of creating their own branded smell for their fleet of aircraft?

To explain these puzzling questions, Lindstrom has turned to that most horribly complicated of instruments, the human mind. Lindstrom argues that the reasons that we buy a brand, and why we remain fiercely loyal to it, are burrowed deep within our sub conscious.

This is the crux, where the psychology behind the success of the great religions of the world mirrors the psychology behind a successful brand – from Rolex to Coca Cola. ‘The same area of the human brain,’ Lindstrom argues, ties a person to their religious faith as makes a consumer loyal to a successful brand. Essentially it is the same impulses that keep Roman Catholics pious as keep newer generations hooked to products like the Nintendo Wii.

Understanding these impulses, Lindstrom advocates, is key to building a successful brand or product. From Richard Branson, to fourteenth century popes, he argues, successful branding lies at the root of their success. For aspiring marketers, businessmen on the lookout for new ideas, or psychologists merely interested in the motivations of the mind – this could be a book that is too good to be missed.

Tags: Digital TV, News by Peter Moore
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A pit-bull in designer lipstick and Valentino suits, Marie Kemplay explains why Sarah Palin is perhaps not the ordinary hockey mom she professes to be.

In the absence of any serious politics at the other side of the Atlantic media attention has once again returned to the soap opera of Sarah Palin. Over the past few days the Republican party has been heavily criticised for going on a $150,000 spending spree of designer couture and make-up for Sarah Palin and her family – even her infant son – after she was chosen as the Republican’s vice presidential candidate in August.

The Republican Party claims it was always their intention to donate the clothes to charity but in these times of acute economic hardship for ordinary Americans, it would have perhaps reflected better on them if they had tightened their metaphorical belts rather than buying Sarah Palin several new ones and a host of designer suits.

The entire election campaign reeks of overspending and excess, and both parties are just as guilty. This election has broken all records for fundraising and spending; $961 million was raised by both parties by the end of September and the figure is set to pass the $1bn mark by November 4^th,with some estimates putting the total cost at more like $2bn.

Obama has always viewed high spending as the key to victory and since September has bought 330,000 adverts in all the battleground states compared with 100,000 by McCain. And despite his populist pretensions, only a quarter of the $600m his team have raised so far has come from the small donors of $200 or less who he likes to claim are the lifeblood of his campaign. But with Obama 7.4% ahead in the polls at the time of writing it seems his strategy is paying off.

Tags: Politics by Marie Kemplay
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Timing is everything

One of South Africa’s finance ministers takes a television tumble.

This one was just too good to pass up. just think of all the jokes that you have heard recently. Even the best of them will not stand up to this one, which shows a South African finance minister, Nhlanhla Nene, taking a tumble mid-way through a live television debate. I hope you enjoy it!

Tags: Digital TV by Peter Moore
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You’ve seen all of the advertising, but what actually is HD television? Marie Kemplay cuts through the jargon on our behalf.

Even speaking as a complete technophobe I must concede that HD television is pretty spectacular, the vivid colours and clarity is really impressive. And the good news is that media regulators, Ofcom, have announced that the next world cup in 2010 and the 2012 Olympics will be broadcast in HD. Imagine seeing Fabio Capello’s tears (of joy or shame) in all their glory.

Although you may think the quality of TV you can get from a decent television set and digital signal is already pretty impressive, HD really does take it to the next level with HD picture quality up to five times more detailed than standard TV. This is because the picture is made up of 720 or 1028 optical lines rather than the 576 of conventional television and the gaps between pixels are smaller, which all translates for the layman into a far sharper image. This is accompanied by Dolby Digital surround sound. All good news for viewers, but not so good for TV stars whose every wrinkle and grey hair will now far more visible.

To view HD you need a HD ready television set, a digital service provider and a HD set top box. If you are on a budget there are basic HD ready TVs available for about £130 and if you have more money to burn top of the market televisions can cost more like £1,500.

There are currently three HD service providers in the UK, Freesat, Virgin Media and Sky Digital. It is important to remember that HDTV is still very new in the UK and while the amount of HD programming available is increasing all the time it is still very limited compared to ordinary television. Currently, Sky Digital is by far the best in terms of the amount of programming available with 26 HD dedicated channels such as 4 sports channels which regularly show premiership matches, 9 movie channels, Channel 4 HD and BBC HD. Sky charge £75 for their set top box as well as £10 a month on top of a regular Sky digital subscription.

Virgin’s v+ box will set you back £99 and costs £5 a month with a virgin phone line. Unlike Sky, Virgin only has one dedicated HD channel, BBC HD, but it does have a selection of on demand HD programmes. The cheapest option and unfortunately therefore the least useful is Freesat which as the name suggests doesn’t require a subscription, but it’s not as simple as they would have you believe. You must either purchase a set-top box or Freesat HDTV television from one of their approved retailers - John Lewis, Argos, Comet and Currys – a set top box will cost upwards of £50, or a Freesat television over £900 and you must also pay for a satellite dish to be installed if you don’t have one already, this usually costs around £80. At the moment freesat only offers limited HDTV programming from ITV and BBC.

If you are prepared to hang back for a while Ofcom has said that HD TV should be available on Freeview by the end of next year and the BBC, ITV and Channel 4 are all expected to be broadcasting much more HD television by that time.

Realistically, anybody without a Sky subscription would be better waiting for a year or so when you are likely to pay less for the appropriate equipment and get more programmes for your money.

Tags: Digital TV by Marie Kemplay
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Forget Bob the Builder, it’s Joe the Plumber that could fix this election for McCain, explains Marie Kemplay

On Wednesday night another character was added to the presidential soap opera, Joe the Plumber. I’m sure nobody, least of all Joe himself, expected the final presidential debate to focus so much on one voter. Every one of the 26 times good ol’ Joe was mentioned I couldn’t help but raise my hands in despair, is this what the election has come down to; whether one man from Ohio may or may not be taxed more if Barack Obama wins? Worst of all was John McCain referring to him as “my old buddy Joe the Plumber”, when he’s never met him, if he had he might be more cautious about granting him his new found American hero status. McCain had hoped that the 34 year old plumber who accused Obama’s plans to increase taxes for households earning over £250,000 as “killing the American dream” would be his perfect attack weapon. But it turns out 34 year old Joe Wurzelbacher is actually called Samuel, doesn’t even have a plumber’s license and his earnings are way below $250,000 and are unlikely to go above that anytime soon, so perhaps not the anti-Obama hero he had been searching for.

McCain and Obama really came to blows over the negative campaigning that has taken over in recent weeks, Obama was once again forced to repudiate his ties with Bill Ayers, a 1970s terrorist and to his credit he did it very convincingly. Despite McCain trying to take the moral highground, claiming he has always defended Obama when Republican critics have taken it too far Obama delivered the killer line of the whole debate “John, 100% of your TV ads are negative.”

Unfortunately for McCain doing trying to undermine his opponent is the only option he really has left. It’s looking like even, to use his own words, spending his entire life in the service of the nation may not be enough to get him elected.

Tags: BBC, Digital TV, Politics, Virgin by Marie Kemplay
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With Obama and McCain just 21 days away from the prize of the presidency, Marie Kemplay looks back at political developments during the last week.

63.2 million Americans tuned in to watch John McCain and Barack Obama sparring in the second presidential debate on Tuesday, pretty impressive until you remember that 70 million American people watched last week’s vice presidential debate. “Say it aint so Joe” but it seems that perhaps Sarah Palin and her notorious television appearances are becoming the major draw of this campaign.

But although I’m digressing much like the vice presidential debate, Tuesday saw no real fireworks, no real knock out blows and nothing really new from either candidate. Several polls taken afterward have shown American viewers think that Barack Obama won and if I have to come down off my fence I’d tend to agree.

Obama, in general, backed-up what he said with facts, for example knowing the price of petrol in Nashville went down really well with the local press – $3.80 by the way. His points were in general a lot clearer and well defined, whereas McCain seemed to rely more on populist phrases to get by such as “We are Americans. We can, with the participation of all Americans, work together and solve these problems together.” A lovely sentiment but not particularly explanative, his overuse of the phrase ‘My Friends’ at the start of what seemed to be nearly every answer was also pretty grating. In fairness to McCain, Obama did his fair share of question dodging; for example when asked about social security and Medicare (American medical insurance scheme) reform Obama started talking about taxes.

The real headline is that the debate did nothing to change the status quo and the tragedy for McCain is that he really needed to put in a dazzling performance. The American press had been expecting him to go into this debate all guns a blazing, especially as the ‘town hall’ format of the debate was meant to favour an old-school politician like him. While some commentators have said that once he started walking around the stage and addressing the audience he looked strong and purposeful, for me it just reminded me of how woefully old he is, and, I hate to say it but the word doddery came to mind. My friend kindly added that his walk and mannerisms reminded her of Homer Simpson.

McCain in my opinion also made two serious bloopers; firstly referring to Obama as “that one”, although in the context of a political debate that sort of language may seem pretty innocuous some quarters of the American press have accused him of racism, not particularly helpful when he’s behind in the polls. His ill judged claim that: “I’ll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I’ll get him. I know how to get him.” Is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. For all his talk of America needing a “steady hand at the tiller” such a claim does not strike me as coming from such a person.

The problem for both candidates is that these are very testing times and both parties are clutching at straws to find solutions to vast array of both domestic and foreign policy issues. McCain suggesting that “energy independence” – possibly his second most used phrase in the debate - could solve America’s economic woes is a bit unrealistic to say the least. Obama seems to be taking the Gordon Brown route of stressing the importance of ensuring that “ordinary families” are fine, ok, but what about everybody else?

Unfortunately for television viewers and voters two candidates struggling to outline solutions to increasingly complex problems doesn’t necessarily translate into an exciting election campaign. My overall assessment of the debate matches that of the online news site, The Drudge Report “Boring!”.

Tags: Digital TV, Politics by Marie Kemplay
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